⭐⭐⭐
After
Anna Todd
582 pages | Published by Gallery Books
OH-KAY. I've never been so conflicted about a book before. I knew that there has been some controversy surrounding this one, but I wanted to dive in and see for myself what I thought, and boy, I'm not sure how I feel.
Tessa begins her freshman year of college, sure to succeed, much to the delight of her uptight mother and younger boyfriend Noah. Arriving at school though, Tessa's roommate is a wild one, introducing her to the party scene, and her friend Hardin. Hardin is sexy, brooding, and mysterious, but also seems to despise Tessa. Despite their troubled relationship, the two can't seem to stay away from each other.
Let's start with Tessa. I find her annoying - as I do with most characters that come across as uptight and judgy. I also didn't appreciate the amount of slut-shaming Tessa throws around - she hates that they judge her for being put together, but is the first to judge Hardin's crowd for being a bit more free-spirited.
Hardin is actually abusive, right? He's mean, manipulative, and truly cruel. You can also totally see his efforts to gaslight Tessa. I do not understand the appeal of him - I didn't find him charming, and couldn't see what made it so easy for Tessa to forgive him every time he would say hateful things to her. There were so many red flags regarding their relationship - he doesn't want her talking to other men, he wouldn't be honest about their relationship to his friends, and then he essentially causes her to be cut off from her family and takes her away from others by moving off-campus with her. If Tessa was a friend of mine in real life, I would be so worried about her.
I really struggled with the intention of the story - are we supposed to root for them? Are we supposed to see their relationship as abusive? Am I supposed to find Hardin compelling? Maybe these are things that will become more clear further into the series, but after one book, I couldn't tell you what viewpoint the readers are supposed to have.
I went with a three-star rating here, which on GoodReads translates to "I Liked It." Which is weird because most of what I've said about it is negative - and that I didn't like it. At a certain point in the book, I was sure that I didn't care to continue the series, but by the end, I want to know where the story goes. Something about it has pulled me in, and while I don't like it, I just need to see how it ends.
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